Alimony Woes Can Complicate Divorce

If you are caught up in a bitter divorce with difficult alimony or child support negotiations, you might want to rethink your own approach. Experts in Maryland divorce law say that couples sometimes become so focused on being “right” that they refuse to consider the effects their actions are having on others. Your personal disdain toward your ex could be preventing you from moving on. In addition, it could be costing you more money as the legal proceedings drag on.

Gurus say couples should avoid getting so caught up in their divorces that they cannot take advantage of good advice. One woman relates her story, explaining how she was required to pay spousal maintenance for her husband after they divorced. The man wanted to return to a nearby university to obtain a degree. The woman had full custody of the couple’s daughter, and she resented her ex for making her pay the spousal support; the man was, in fact, employable. She felt bitter and angry until her friend asked her whether she would rather be right or happy.

In fact, that perspective can be incredibly helpful during your divorce proceedings. Even though you may feel like the alimony or child support decisions handed down in your case are unfair, you should try to move on without additional acrimony. A bitter attitude will not change the judge’s ruling in your case. In addition, staying positive can help you maintain your relationship with your ex to promote co-parenting success. The woman in the story now has a strong bond with her ex, despite her initial anger. The couple was even able to easily work out a child support agreement when the man finished his degree.

Not all spousal support disputes end so easily. If you are concerned about the value of your alimony payments, or if you think you are not getting enough money from your ex, consider seeking assistance from a qualified family attorney. These professionals can help you learn more about your rights and responsibilities in the courtroom.

Source:, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Debbi Dickinson, Jun. 18, 2013