Going through a divorce, and a long one in particular, is a difficult, emotional, stressful and tense situation. Family members, friends, and even those acquaintances that have also been through a divorce are a good support system to lean on throughout this difficult process.
Randall M. Kessler, a blogger for The Huffington Post, provided some helpful tips to further assist you throughout your divorce:
- Help your attorney help you. You know your marriage, your spouse and your children better than anyone else, certainly more so than your attorney. Provide suggestions to your attorney as to how to best deal with your spouse and inform your attorney as to those issues that are most important to you so that your attorney can focus on those issues.
- Provide your attorney with all necessary information. Create a detailed history of your marriage and provide it to your attorney. Further, if you think an event, situation or fact isn’t important to your matter and that you do not need to inform your attorney as to same, do it anyway. Let your attorney determine its importance.
- Make your divorce a priority. If your attorney needs to speak with you or needs you to come into the office, be available. They do not attempt to speak or meet with you if they do not have something important to discuss with you. Further, not being available to discuss your case, or if you are not willing to take leave from work to attend mediation or 4-way meetings with your lawyer, spouse and their attorney, gives the impression that you are uncooperative. Settling your matter may prove to be even more difficult.
- Spite will only harm, not help. Resist the urge to be spiteful and the need to win every battle you may engage in with your spouse. It is important to focus on the “bigger picture” and on the best way to prevail on those issues most important to you. Antagonizing your spouse, or “rubbing it in” when you either get a good result in court or get them to agree with your position on an issue that is important to you, does not help your cause and may backfire on you later down the road in settlement negotiations.
- Check in regularly with your attorney. Schedule regular status appointments with your attorney. This will give you and your attorney the opportunity to discuss strategies moving forward and also ensures that you are both on the same page. Regular meetings may also bring to light questions you have for your attorney that you may otherwise not have thought about.
Cynthia H. Clark & Associates, LLC is an Annapolis-based family law firm serving clients throughout the state of Maryland. If you and your spouse are considering a divorce, please contact our firm to reserve a consultation time at our office.